Photo Credit: Fang Guo

The Attraction Sequence & The Marital Readiness Qualities

By Judith Beebe, M.A.

Topics: Coupling in the New Millenium

This video shows the viewer, in seven steps, how two people become attracted to each other. Then I discuss how two people who are attracted to each other can start to tell whether they would be a good couple for life. It's all about The Story of Us. Watch with your partner, and ask each other what steps you remember going through in the Attraction Sequence.  Notice whether you have seen any of the Marital Readiness Qualities in your current relationship.

Check out the video below:

Direct download: Regular (320.8 MB) Low-Res (124.4 MB)

The Marital Readiness Qualities create a picture of a relationship where the two people don't just want the best for each other, they want to be a part of the other's success. They want to be right there in the bad times too, where "Your problem or heartache becomes mine too." A man wants to see the woman in his life thrive in every area of her life – career, friendships, and family life. A woman wants her man to be respected by everyone who knows him. Same-sex couples want both positive outcomes for their partner. I hope this lesson can help you to see if your current relationship has the potential to be good for a li  fetime.

The Attraction Sequence

  1. Gaze
  2. “Chemical” (Smell, Touch)
  3. Delight in Personal Traits
  4. Personality Compatibility
  5. Shared Values
  6. Shared Interests
  7. Affinities

The Marital Readiness Qualities

  1. Both feel equal
  2. Both feel heard
  3. Both feel like adults together, not parent-child or child-child
  4. Both desire to become more emotionally and physically intimate at a pace that is comfortable for both
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Did you know? Judith Beebe offers empathetic and effective psychotherapy in Princeton, NJ and by Skype. Read More →